Week 140 - Competitive to a fault
Apr. 1st, 2013 12:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tiemlordCompetitive to a fault? Yeah, that's me alright, and it cost me a few friendships, an' all. It took me far too long to realise how much I'd messed it all up. I might've still had Roy if I'd managed to get me 'ead out of me arse long enough to realise I was driving him away.
But that's easy to say now, when it's far too late to go back and fix things.
I regret what I did to Roy the most. I should've been better to him, and he was a great friend, but I just didn't know how to work with him in a way that wouldn't drive us both apart. Too much of a need to prove meself, to prove I was just as good as he was.
I got rich off the back of that eventually. It took me a long time to feel sorry about it, that maybe it would've felt better if he'd been there with me. I used to think about that a lot, about what might've happened if he'd been there, and I'd made it work like Carl did. Maybe we'd still be going to the match together, like we always used to do, instead of being half a world apart.
But then maybe he wouldn't have written half the songs he had. Maybe I wouldn't have, either. I kept all his records, all safe and sound. I never dared throw 'em out, because it was the only time I could ever just listen to his voice, and wish he was there with me. Imagine him singing beside me, smiling as we made music together again. Watching him scratching on that cello of his for hours and hours, and listening to what we made afterwards. That was the best feeling ever, and I never felt it often enough.
Ahh, but what does all this even matter anymore? He's long dead, and I live in a different world now. All I've got left are memories of what might've been.
Muse: Jeff Lynne
Fandom: Electric Light Orchestra RPF AU
Word Count: 337
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction
But that's easy to say now, when it's far too late to go back and fix things.
I regret what I did to Roy the most. I should've been better to him, and he was a great friend, but I just didn't know how to work with him in a way that wouldn't drive us both apart. Too much of a need to prove meself, to prove I was just as good as he was.
I got rich off the back of that eventually. It took me a long time to feel sorry about it, that maybe it would've felt better if he'd been there with me. I used to think about that a lot, about what might've happened if he'd been there, and I'd made it work like Carl did. Maybe we'd still be going to the match together, like we always used to do, instead of being half a world apart.
But then maybe he wouldn't have written half the songs he had. Maybe I wouldn't have, either. I kept all his records, all safe and sound. I never dared throw 'em out, because it was the only time I could ever just listen to his voice, and wish he was there with me. Imagine him singing beside me, smiling as we made music together again. Watching him scratching on that cello of his for hours and hours, and listening to what we made afterwards. That was the best feeling ever, and I never felt it often enough.
Ahh, but what does all this even matter anymore? He's long dead, and I live in a different world now. All I've got left are memories of what might've been.
Muse: Jeff Lynne
Fandom: Electric Light Orchestra RPF AU
Word Count: 337
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction